Day after tomorrow will mark four weeks since I got that heart-rending call. Nearly a month since I found out that my sister-in-law had left this world and it was up to me to notify my husband (her brother) and her father. In a lot of ways, I’ve been numb since then.
Strong emotion has always been difficult for me to express and this has been no exception. It didn’t help that my grandfather passed away in March and since I don’t live close to him, it’s been easier for me to pretend (at least in my heart) that it didn’t happen.
I’ll admit, when my grandmother passed away it took me more than six months to deal with it, and I was used to seeing her every day. Granted, I was thirteen at the time, but that’s kind of typical for me. I’ve dealt with my share of loss. This he was my fourth grandparent to go and I lost a step-sister when I was 18, but I don’t handle it like most people. I probably cry less than most men. In sixteen years of marriage my husband can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s seen me cry. I’m not kidding. I just don’t do it, or I don’t let anyone see it when it happens. I’m much more likely to vent my emotions by yelling, screaming or hitting something (not someone, something). It’s just me. I know it’s odd. I know it’s not normal, but it’s me.
What do I mean my heart-blind? I mean I’ve been in this locked down place where I couldn’t feel much emotion, good or bad. This made writing a romance very difficult, especially the one that I’m working on.
Without giving too much away, I can say it’s not an easy story. When I started it, I had in mind a quick, fun read, but Steve and Jade have slowly revealed to me that their stories aren’t either quick or fun. Now that I’m starting to feel emotions again rather than just surviving, they’ve started talking to me again. The story is already longer than I had intended for it to be, and I don’t see the end any time soon. They are telling me bits of what will happen in the immediate future and bits that will happen a little further off… I know how it will end, but the bits in between are what’s the most fun to find out. This current story is called Jade’s Peace (it’s a sequel to Escape) and you can find the first chapter at the end of Robin’s Nest. Eventually it will make it to the website, but that won’t be until I have a release date.
And for those of you asking me if there’s another book in the Kitsune series. Yyes, there is at least one more book in Nickie’s story. I’m not yet sure if there’s more than that, but there is at least one more book.